The Greatest Gift

It was a perfect match.  In keeping with Sikh tradition, Gurdial Dale Singh Badh's marriage to Narinder was arranged.  While those who brought them together knew it would be a great union, no one could have known that Narinder, the beautiful young woman who grew up in the Vancouver suburb of Ladner, would one day save the life of the young man who grew up in the forests and ranch country of British Columbia's Nicola Valley.

Not even the Sikh temple priest in Merritt, who was a master of palmistry.  Reading Dale's palm one day decades ago, the priest said, "when you are about 40, you'll have a health issue, but you will be fine."

Narinder was very close to her grandmother.   Driving her grandmother home one day, she was told about plans for an arranged marriage.  Narinder's grandmother had seen Dale, and met with Dale's father.  Narinder recalls her grandmother describing Dale, saying, "he's got a strong religious upbringing, and he doesn't drink".  As she dropped her grandmother off, her grandmother said, "give it some thought".  "I was twenty years old," says Narinder, "it went in one ear, and out the other."

That night, her beloved grandmother had a massive stroke, and died in hospital the next day.  Four weeks later, Dale's family arrived at their home to meet Narinder and her family.  She and Dale spoke, surrounded by both families.  Before leaving, Dale's family wanted an answer:  would she marry Dale, or not?  Dale and Narinder's daughters, now in their mid-twenties, ask, "Mum, how could you do that?"  Narinder says she trusted her grandmother, "she knew that he was the right person for me."  Two months later, Dale and Narinder were married.  That was thirty-one years, and four children ago.

As a teenager, working weekends and Summer holidays in a sawmill, Dale began having back pain. He says that after a lengthy checkup, his Family Doctor referred him to a Kidney Specialist in Kamloops, about an hour drive from Merritt.  That's when doctors told him that he was born with abnormal kidneys:  one was pea sized, and the other, enlarged.  He was told that he could still function with only one working kidney, even though it was enlarged.

Dale went on to college in Kamloops, then took the Heavy Duty Mechanic Pre-Apprentice and Diesel Pre-Apprentice programmes at Pacific Vocational in Burnaby, before completing the Real Estate programme at the University of British Columbia's Sauder School of Business in Vancouver in 1986.  By the time he was a husband and father, Dale was working long hours in the hot, competitive Vancouver real estate market. 

When he first moved to Vancouver in 1984, Dale told his new Family Doctor about his kidney issues, and handed over his detailed medical records.  "Unfortunately," says Dale, "the new doctor was more into making money, than taking care of patients, and doing the proper follow-up."

In the early 1990's, when Dale tried to renew his life insurance coverage, he was turned down.  Blood and urine analysis revealed abnormal Creatinine levels.  Although Dale had been getting regular checkups, the Family Doctor had not been keeping watch on Dale's kidney function.  Dale was sent to a Kidney Specialist, who advised his Family Doctor to put him on blood pressure medication.  The Family Doctor (who eventually lost his license) ignored the advice.  Stress, and a lack of blood pressure medication, took their toll on Dale's one good kidney.  He had only 50% kidney function.

As his condition deteriorated, Dale found a new Family Doctor.  His blood pressure was 165/110.  He was told he was, "a walking timebomb, and needed to see a Specialist as soon as possible." Dale's Specialist advised him that he would need dialysis, and a kidney transplant.

Dale took it calmly.  So calmly, the Kidney Specialist didn't think he fully accepted the harsh reality of what he had been told.  Every 30 hours, someone in Canada dies waiting for an organ transplant.  Dale says, he always remembered the words of the temple priest, "you will be fine."

Narinder was expecting their fourth child.  Dale's kidney function dropped to 40%, then 30%...and when his kidney function dropped to 20%, he began daily dialysis at home.  The eight hour regiment would begin at 10 o'clock at night, and end at six the next morning.  Dale was almost 40 years old.

Dale's family members were being tested to see if they would be a match for transplant.  His friends and clients too, offered to be tested.  Dale says, "I was blessed to have my whole family by my side through this entire ordeal." 

The Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) recently released data comparing ten year survival rates of those on dialysis, to those who've had kidney transplants.  Their data shows a 16% ten year survival rate for dialysis patients, and an 74% ten year survival rate for transplant recipients.  As of today, there are over 4,500 people waiting for an organ donation in Canada, and an estimated 260 of them will not survive the coming year.

Organ donation saves lives.  One deceased donor can save up to eight lives, donating their heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, pancreas and intestines.  Between 50 and 75 lives can be greatly improved through tissue donation, including skin, corneas, bone and tendons, veins and arteries, and heart valves.  This Christmas season of gift giving, registering to be an organ donor is as easy as clicking on Beadonor.ca

In the world of organ donation and transplant, kidney transplants are often performed with living donors.  Unlike a heart, which is obviously essential to the survival of a donor, and cannot be removed until the donor dies, liver and kidneys can be donated by a living donor.  A liver can be divided in half, and both halves will regenerate into two whole livers.  As for kidneys, a donor needs only one kidney to survive, which leaves a spare to share.  Also, the survival rate for those with a living donor is higher than for those who've received a kidney from a deceased donor.

The body's natural immune system doesn't recognize the new, alien organ, and will attack it.  Simply put, the closer the new organ "looks like" the old organ, the better the immune system is fooled into accepting it.  Extensive searches are undertaken to find a donor match, based primarily on blood type compatibility.  The immune system is not easily fooled, so after transplant, organ recipients must take immunosuppressant medication for the rest of their lives.

Dale's match was his soul's perfect match:  Narinder.  Two days after their fourth child's first birthday, Narinder gave her husband the greatest gift of all - a second chance at life.  On March 16th, 1998, Narinder donated one of her healthy kidneys to Dale.

Looking back, Narinder says, "I just knew that it was something I had to do.  I loved my husband.  There was nothing I had to think about."

Asked if she would recommend organ donation, Narinder says, "for sure - without a doubt."  She says, "it's a decision that I would whole heartedly make."  A longtime kindergarten teacher, who now teaches grade three students in the Vancouver school system, Narinder believes there needs to be greater public education about organ donation.  She says, "the fear of not knowing", prevents people from registering to be organ donors.

More than twenty years later, Dale is stable, and thriving.  A successful realtor, he is one of the top five of the 100 Associates at Re/MAX.  Early in the new year, Dale will be re-launching the internationally popular Punjabi radio station, Sher-E-Punjab Radio AM 600...you'll be hearing a lot more about organ donation!

One last word...the Sikh priest who read Dale's palm those decades ago, also said, "you will marry only once".  That one marriage, to a very special woman, has given Dale a second chance at life...the greatest gift.

Photographs Copyright of:  Ruth Adams, Widow's Endorphins Photographic Images Incorporated.