Gratitude

My husband died nearly three years ago.  It was Canadian Thanksgiving weekend.  In the midst of my profound grief, I was aware of an overwelming sense of gratitude.  Thankfulness.  Thankful for having shared our lives together.  Thankful for the more than twenty-six years we had.  That sense of gratitude was so strong, that it lifted me through some of the darkest days of grief.

One of the women in an on-line group of widows, I am forever grateful for having joined, is Kristin Meekhof, Co-author of A Widow's Guide to Healing: Gentle Support and Advice for the First Five Years.  She knows a thing or two about gratitude.  It was during the months that she and her best friend emailed gratitude lists back and forth to one another, that love blossomed, and they married within a year.

Sadly, four years later, Kristin's husband Roy, had Stage IV Adrenal Cancer.  Even as he was dying, her husband continued creating lists of all that he was grateful for in his life. Kristin was only 33 years old, and as she says, "despite having a degree in Social Work, nothing prepared me for this event."  The daily lists brought some light into their lives.  Roy's lists expressed his gratitude for family and friends, who in only eight short weeks would lose him to the disease.  

Gratitude is a feeling or expression of thankfulness.  It begins with an awareness of something or someone you are thankful for.  This is followed by acknowledging to yourself that you are grateful. Many people have gratitude journals, and each night before bed, write down three or five things for which they are grateful.

Gratitude blossoms when you express it.  Kristin says that since her late husband's death, "I make it a point to give handwritten thankyou cards to my dear friends because their kindness matters to me.  It is important to put these things in writing and thankyou cards are a beautiful gesture of kindness."

It's an exciting day for Kristin, as she launches a new project with Deepak Chopra.  They are collaborating with JIYO Internet of Wellbeing, to create the world's biggest on-line gratitude journal! Today they're launching 31 Days of Gratitude. Here is the link:  https://jiyo.com/#campaign/31_day_gratitude/

I am grateful to be alive!  My husband did everything he could to survive, and when he was told there was nothing more that could be done, he willed himself to live longer.  Survivors of wars, terror attacks, and disasters, often say they owe it to those who've died, to live life to the fullest.  The logo for the Invictus Games, founded by Prince Harry, for physically and mentally wounded warriors and vetrans, is I AM.

I am grateful for my existence.  I am grateful that I was born to nurturing parents who gave me a strong foundation, and unconditional love.  I am grateful for the love of family, and the deep bonds and memories we share.

I am grateful for friends, both those I see each day, and those who exist in a virtual reality known as Facebook.  I have deep and meaningful relationships with people I have never met.  I look forward to the daily posts of family and old friends that I haven't seen in years, yet through social media, I have been able to watch them grow older along with me.  Friends keep me laughing, at myself and the world.  Friends keep me interested in the world around me, and I learn so many new things.

I am grateful to be living in this day and age.  Our ancestors, and all the kings of old, would never have imagined that a commoner would live such an amazing life!  Think about it:  I'm living in an air conditioned home, sipping a cup of imported coffee, while typing this photo-blog on my computer, which will be instantly read by people with iphones, on other continents.  My microwave would blow our ancestors minds!  Last week, I met up with a friend who flew in from Scotland for a week.  No perilous sea voyage.  Our world is far from perfect, however, it is so much better than it was for millions living in the Dark Ages.   

I am grateful for a healthy body and brain.  I am independent, and make my own decisions.  I am grateful for my wit, strong will, and gentle spirit. I am grateful to be living in a country with free medical care.  I am grateful to be living in a city with a reputation for advancements in medical research, and hosptials with renowned doctors.  I am grateful that we are nearing breakthroughs on many medical fronts.

I am grateful for my eyesight.  When we first moved to Toronto, I was unhappy.  My husband suggested that I take my camera with me, while walking the dog.  When you look for beauty, you are sure to find it.  It is a pleasure and honour to share the beauty of my part of the world with each of you, through the miracle of digital photography.   

Photographs Copyright of:  Ruth Adams, Widow's Endorphins Photographic Images Incorporated.