Victoria Day

Known as the "Widow of Windsor", Queen Victoria - the longest reigning British monarch - was also the longest mourning. Barely in her 40's when her beloved Prince Albert died, she went into a deep depression and seclusion.  She wore mourning black every day, until her own death, at the age of 81. 

Most widows will appreciate the magnitude of the loss of a husband, if not the extreme of her depression and solitude.  The Prince was her husband, lover, best friend, confidante, and adviser. Even though they had nine children, when he died, she felt so alone in the world.  "They cannot understand what I have lost", she would say. 

  

This is the iconic image of Queen Victoria which we all recognize.  As a child, her picture frightened me.  As an adult, I see the weariness in her face.  There's an ever present sadness in all of the photographs taken of the Queen in the forty years after Albert's death.  She wasn't always this way.

This too, is Victoria!  In the days before "Boudoir Photography", the young newlywed had Franz Winterhalter paint her portrait as a birthday gift to her husband.  The 1843 painting was kept in Albert's bedroom.  Called "the secret picture", it is part of the Royal Trust Collection, and was publicly displayed for the first time in 2009.  Victoria had a secret, long before Victoria's Secret!

Queen Victoria was the first woman to have a wedding photograph taken.  Her elaborate wedding gown of lace, and flowers is in such contrast to her dour, black robes.  The bride does not look like a 20 year old...because she is not.  These photographs by Roger Fenton, taken in 1854, are a re-creation of Victoria and Albert's wedding 14 years before, in 1840. Soon, all high society newlyweds wanted their wedding picture taken, and the tradition was born.

When it came to Christmas, Queen Victoria was the Martha Stewart of her day.  Her lively family celebration of Christmas, with it's fresh evergreen tree, ornaments, holly and ivy is the inspiration behind our modern day Christmas traditions.

Then, it all changed.  Albert died of Typhoid Fever, at the age of 42.  The Queen was never the same again.  

She wrote to her daughter, also named Victoria, "How I, who leant on him for all and everything - without whom I did nothing, moved not a finger, arranged not a print or photograph, didn't put on a gown or bonnet if he didn't approve it, shall go on, to live, to move, to help myself in difficult moments?"

I hear myself, and many of my widowed friends in her words.  We're all strong, capable women.  Yet, we worry about how we will carry on.  The fear and anxiety, compound the grief.     

Albert died in the Blue Room at Windsor Castle.  Queen Victoria kept everything exactly as it was. This is not unusual behaviour for a widow.  Victoria took it further.  Fresh flowers were brought to the room every day, along with hot water for shaving.  Every night, she had a clean night shirt ready for him.  It was as if she was creating the space for him to return to her. 

She longed to hear his voice again.  Today, widows may have a video tape, or voice recording from the answering machine to play over and over.  Queen Victoria had none of these things.

She wrote one of her daughters saying that she wanted to die, to join what was the sunshine of her existence, the light of her life.  She held seances in an attempt to communicate with Albert.  Her family and friends thought she was obsessive, and possibly mad.  When Benjamin Disraeli was on his deathbed, and was asked if he'd like a visit from the Queen, he said, "No, it is better not, she would only ask me to take a message to Albert".

A doctor prescribed "pony therapy" for the Queen, and Scotsman, John Brown brought the Queen's horse, Lochnagar for her to ride.  During seances which he attended, it's believed the Queen thought Brown was channeling Albert.  What is clear, is that like Albert, John Brown was strong and protective, always spoke his mind, and wouldn't take any nonsense from the Queen, whom he addressed as, "Woman".  She was no doubt amused, because they became very close, and newspapers of the day began calling her "Mrs. Brown". 

It's Victoria Day in Canada, and we are celebrating the monarch's birthday* with a long weekend of BBQ's, picnics, fishing trips, and fireworks. Canada is the only country in the Commonwealth, indeed the world, which celebrates Victoria Day. Even the Brits don't celebrate her birthday. 

*  I've always wanted to use an asterisk, just like Garrison Keillor in his book, Lake Wobegon Days!  As for Queen Victoria's birthday, it is actually the 24th of May.  Back in the 1950's the Canadian government declared that the birthday would be celebrated on the Monday before the 24th of May, which is why we are celebrating today, May 18th.  Canadians often refer to this "May 24th" long weekend, as Two-Four, another name for a pack of 24 bottles of beer.  The Queen says, she is not amused!  

  

First and last photographs, White Peonies in a Wicker Basket, and White Peonies on White
Copyright Ruth Adams, Widow's Endorphins Photographic Images Incorporated.