Widow's Endorphins: Mardi Gras Lilies

Widow's Endorphins: Mardi Gras Lilies: C'est Mardi Gras ce soir ! Can't you hear the sounds of New Orleans Jazz, Blues, Soul, and Zydeco spilling out of bars and ca...

Mardi Gras Lilies

C'est Mardi Gras ce soir! Can't you hear the sounds of New Orleans Jazz, Blues, Soul, and Zydeco spilling out of bars and cafes? Music transports me. Tonight, I'm there! I've got Dr. John's, Such a Night, turned up. Dr. John, who died last year, was known as the Piano Soul of New Orleans. Listening to Creole Moon, and Right Place, Wrong Time, I've got to agree.  

Pianist, Jelly Roll Morton went further, proclaiming himself the inventor of Jazz. Born in the New Orleans of 1890, Morton played piano in brothels. His ragtime music is known around the world. Give Steamboat Stomp, or Shreveport Stomp a listen.

New Orleans men have a bravado about them. Professor Longhair, is called the Piano God of New Orleans. His, is a unique sound. New Orleans pianists are as varied as Elis Marsalis, and Harry Connick Jr. Each one is the heart and soul of New Orleans!

  

Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, is the day before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Devout Catholics observe lent with sacrifice and penance, in the days leading up to Easter Sunday. Some give up chocolates, some give up alcohol, and some abstain from sex. The night before all that fasting, and sacrifice, is one of total excess! Eat, drink, and be merry!

I am not intoxicated, however, the intoxicating fragrance of lilies fills the home. I love the spicy scent of Oriental lilies. They're exotic and theatrical - perfect flowers for Mardi Gras!

As they say down South, laissez les bon temps rouler!  Let the good times roll!

Widow's Endorphins: Rhododendrons and Ramblings

Widow's Endorphins: Rhododendrons and Ramblings: Rhododendrons blooming in February! That's uber early, even for Vancouver's climate. There they are, in all their pink glory, fl...

Rhododendrons and Ramblings

Rhododendrons blooming in February! That's uber early, even for Vancouver's climate. There they are, in all their pink glory, flowering in gardens along False Creek's seawall walk. Rhododendrons, or Rhodos as they are often referred to, by people whose fingers get sore trying to type out the whole name, and whose tongues get twisted trying to pronounce it, usually bloom in May on the Westcoast. Some early varieties flower in March. February is worthy of a news conference!

January's record rainfall made the news. The city, which is known for rain, broke a fifty year record for the number of consecutive days of rain. All was forgotten, when the sun broke through clouds this morning. What a glorious day for a seawall walk to Granville Island Public Market.

 

I wasn't alone on the promenade. The sun brings everyone out. As I walked, I caught fleeting bits of conversation, and turned it into a game of poetry in motion.

Two older women in brightly coloured coats, nodded in agreement as one said to the other, "Don't go on a Friday, though!" I would like to have known where that was. Right behind them, a woman with a soft Scottish accent invited her companion to, "Get together." A tall jogger rapidly inhaled and exhaled. An older couple laughed, as the wife said, "I'll getcha." 

I caught the word, "Party" as a couple pushing a baby stroller were discussing the fact that, "There were an awful lot of people we didn't recognize!" Maybe they were at the same Friday night event! A man in a puffy vest explained to an elegantly dressed, bearded man, who was puffing on a European cigarette, "It took me a long time to like it. I didn't used to." What was he talking about? Gitanes, gin, or ginger? Then, there was the young woman in a cream coloured yoga outfit, and matching cellphone, who marched along, angrily barking into the phone, "So, I asked him, 'Are we going to go out, or not?'" My guess is the answer was not.  

 Photographs Copyright of: Ruth Adams. Widow's Endorphins Photographic Images Incorporated.

Widow's Endorphins: 02022020, You're Number One!

Widow's Endorphins: 02022020, You're Number One!: February 2nd, 2020: 02022020. Today's date is a palindrome. It reads the same backwards and forwards. Much like an old married cou...

02022020, You're Number One!

February 2nd, 2020: 02022020. Today's date is a palindrome. It reads the same backwards and forwards. Much like an old married couple, who each know what the other is thinking, and finish each other's sentences. I often say that words and images are my playground. Numbers not so much. All those two's and zero's in today's date, got me thinking metaphorically.

 

Over the years, I have listened to thousands of widows telling it like it is. Whether the loss of an intimate life partner is sudden, or takes place over a long period of illness, it is still deeply felt. You were two, and now...

How a woman sees herself is all important to her healing. It is not unusual for even the most accomplished women - CEO's, and women with global influence - to feel like they are nothing. Zero. Strong, independent women can be brought to their knees after the death of their husband. Two, then zero. Hear this: you are NEVER nothing.

I often tell the saltshaker story (February 2015:  https://widowsendorphins.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-salt-shaker.html). For as long as I can remember, the cut glass salt and pepper shakers were on the kitchen table. Not long before my husband died, I was washing them, and one of the salt shakers fell off the kitchen counter, smashing into tiny pieces. It was gone forever. I looked at the remaining shaker, and thought, it would make a nice bud vase for a flower. I put it safely up on a shelf. 

After Brande died, I saw in that saltshaker, a metaphor for widowhood. He was gone forever, but I was still alive! I was still standing! Like the saltshaker, turned bud vase, I was the same, only different. I had a new life.

It is hard for many widows to feel good about being alone with themselves. Waking up to themselves each morning, getting their own meals, having imaginary conversations in their heads. One can be a lonely number. Widows often speak of the loneliness they feel, even in a room filled with friends and family.

I don't remember when it happened. One day, I was listening to music - an eclectic mix of Motown, Soul, Blues, 60's Rock, and Brazilian beats. I was doing housework, and had the music turned up loud. I was dancing. Laughing. Feeling like a teenager again. Feeling like me! One person, at one with the universe.

In honour of Palindrome Day, the three of us (me, myself and I) leave you with some of my favourite palindromes, virtually ripped from the Facebook pages of my friend across the pond, Jae, and her Mum Sheila! 

He won a Toyota now, eh?

"Naomi, sex at Noon? Taxes", I moan.
Madam I'm Adam

Photographs Copyright of: Ruth Adams. Widow's Endorphins Photographic Images Incorporated.